Family Therapy
by Mardia
Summary: "Remember how you've always said that the Bristows were the most dysfunctional family on the planet? You have no idea..."


_Title: Family Therapy_

_Characters: Vaughn POV_

_Genre: Humor_

_Rating: a light PG-13_

_Pairing: slight S/V_

_Summary: Inspired by Celli's incredible story Maya: Six Points of View. "Remember how you've always said that the Bristows were the most dysfunctional family on the planet? You have no idea…" Thanks to Celli for her help and encouragement!_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_Michael Vaughn's point of view during the Bristow family interview:_

You know, you really should have said something sooner, Sark. Or do you prefer Mr. Bristow?

Hey, you don't need to curse at me here. I'm not the one who got you into this mess. Besides, I don't understand Russian, so whatever insults you're throwing at me right now really aren't gonna have any effect whatsoever. 

You know, I'm starting to become really thankful for those six inches of bulletproof glass separating us right now. Seriously, from the look on your face, you're cheerfully imagining a slow and painful death for me right now.

Did you actually expect them to take it _calmly_? Practically everyone at SD-6 heard you revealing that little bombshell-thanks to Marshall's little mix-up with the intercom in Sloane's office-and finding out that you were really the long-lost fourth member of the Bristow family in front of all your colleagues really isn't the ideal way to-

Oh, hey, Syd-

Sydney, yelling at Sark is not going to fix anything-

Okay, yes, so it might make you feel a lot better, but-okay, so he might deserve it but you don't see _Jack_ storming in here to yell at him-

Yes, he's too busy yelling at Irina to do that but-

Sark, there is no need to use that kind of language. After all, it's not like we're torturing you here. Of _course_ you didn't know Irina was in CIA custody! That was the whole point! 

Well, _obviously_ Sydney wasn't about to fill you in-especially you'd just had several of Will's teeth removed _without_ Novocain-

Sydney, Syd-okay, I'd really like to get a word in-

Sydney, yelling at a guy who could provide us with some really valuable intel really isn't the way to build his trust _or_ start forging a bond with your brother-what the hell are you yelling at _me_ for? Sark, would you stop looking so damn _smug_? Jesus, now I'm starting to understand why Sydney always wants to kick your ass-

Jack, nice to see you-

Ja-Jack, yelling is _not_ going to solve anything-of course it's my damn business! I've been assigned to your case and Kendall's insisting I try to calm you down-believe me, if I had a choice I wouldn't be here either-

_Irina_? What the hell are _you_-okay, Jack, calling your wife 'you two-faced, lying Russian bitch' is really _not _the way to-Syd, I know you're upset but-

Oh, for the love of God, will you all just SHUT UP?!!!

Thank you. Sydney, I love you, but you need to calm-okay, I don't mean 'I love you' as in I actually _love_-Sark, would you _stop smirking_? 

Irina, hate to break it to you, but I have a perfect right to yell at your son, seeing as how he's a complete asshole-

Jack, you just called her a bitch five minutes ago for God's-so why are you now sticking up for-

Sydney, there is _really_ no need to yell at me, I wasn't attacking your father-

You know what? I'm just gonna shut up and get the hell out of here. Why don't you guys just work this out by yourselves-just make sure you don't kill each other, alright? I'm going to have a hard time explaining that to Devlin-Jesus, they're not even _listening_ to me-

God, am I glad to get out of there-

Kendall, don't even think about yelling at me right now, 'cause I am _not_ in the mood-hey, you know what? You're so interested in them getting along, why don't _you_ go in there and try to sort things out?

Hah. Thought that'd shut you up. 

Anyway, I'm going to go call Weiss-man, is he going to get a kick out of this-

Weiss? It's me, Vaughn. Remember how you've always said that the Bristows were the most dysfunctional family on the planet? You have _no_ idea… 


End file.
